


Cracks of Your Cold Embrace

by 7_Magpies



Series: Shyan Song Fics [5]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-typical language, Cold Weather, First Kiss, Getting Together, I like to write about Shane taking care of Ryan okay?, Idiots in Love, M/M, Miscommunication, Song fic, Song: Let Me Down Slowly (Alec Benjamin), of course my favorite tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:15:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25929481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7_Magpies/pseuds/7_Magpies
Summary: Shane has been pushing Ryan away, been closing himself off. Ryan finally tries to figure out why, and to convince him to let him down more slowly.This is a song fic based on "Let Me Down Slowly" by Alec Benjamin. It is a standalone and is unrelated to previous works in this series.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Series: Shyan Song Fics [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1857880
Comments: 2
Kudos: 106





	Cracks of Your Cold Embrace

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, friends! Yeah, I'm back with yet another getting together fic. Hope you're not getting bored of them!
> 
> I recommend listening to this song first if you haven't heard it - also, the version featuring Alessia Cara is amazing, highly recommend!

_ “This night is cold in the kingdom, _

_ I can feel you fade away. _

_ From the kitchen to the bathroom sink and _

_ Your steps keep me awake.” _

“Shane, are you awake?”

“No” came the muffled reply from a little ways away. 

“Shane, I’m cold.” 

Shane seemed to give up on ignoring Ryan. “I know you are, you weak Californian,” he sighed. 

They were in the midwest on a filming tour at some haunted location, they were all blurred together in Ryan’s mind this early in the morning. The thing about the midwest in the winter, he was learning, is that it was  _ cold _ . His fingers weren’t bending like they were supposed to, the joints were so cold, and his feet were curling in, trying to conserve the heat. Despite the sweatpants and the sleeping bag and the blanket he had burrowed in, he felt like he was going to at least lose a toe. He decided to slide his bag closer to Shane’s.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to get closer to you. I’m gonna get frostbite and  _ you’re  _ gonna be the one to explain it to the legal team when I come back missing a finger.”

Shane sighed his long-suffering  _ why do I put up with you _ sigh. “Go to the bathroom and run some warm water over your hands,” he finally said.

Ryan crawled out of his bag where they were sleeping in the living room and walked through the kitchen into the bathroom to run warm water in the sink. 

He liked it when Shane took care of him like this. He usually didn’t let himself think about that. But standing in the bathroom like Shane told him to in this haunted location (which even he had to admit wasn’t actually haunted so much as old as dirt) at some ungodly hour of the night, he allowed himself to. He’d been in a strange form of denial about his feelings for his friend for a long time. Ryan was aware he was in denial, which meant he knew he had those feelings. It was confusing. 

This, though? This was simple. Allowing Shane to take care of him. Knowing he was always there for Shane in return. It was as easy as it got. Except Shane was feeling… distant lately. He couldn’t quite put his finger on why, though.

He returned to the living room to see that Shane had pulled their sleeping bags together and put a large quilt across the both of them. When Ryan came in with his hands tucked under his arms, Shane sat up and started tugging at his hands. Ryan realized he had been wearing gloves and was taking them off. “Here, I had these on for a bit to get them warm. Put them on.”

Ryan took the gloves with a murmured “thanks.” Then he crawled back into his bag and burrowed down. 

After a moment, he heard footsteps. “Shane?”

‘

“I gotta pee, Ryan.”

Ryan nodded and tried to fall back asleep. 

_ “Don’t cut me down,  _

_ Throw me out, _

_ Leave me here to waste. _

_ I once was a man with  _

_ Dignity and grace.” _

The next morning Ryan woke up having not slept very restfully. 

“Morning,” Shane said from the couch where he was scrolling through his phone. 

Ryan realized he had another sleeping bag above him and that Shane had taken the blanket. “Hm… morning… why are you on the couch?” 

“I got warm,” he said somewhat dismissively. “About ready to pack up? You must not have thought it was very haunted, you slept straight through the night.”

“Yeah, I think this place is just really fuckin’ old and kinda creepy.” Ryan started to gather the things, feeling like he was getting kicked out despite the fact that Shane would be leaving with him. 

“Hope the next location is a bit more… is ‘whelm’ a word? I hope the next place is whelming. Not even overwhelming. I’m just incredibly underwhelmed.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Come on, let’s get back to the hotel.”

“Yeah.” 

They didn’t talk much anymore. Just gathered their things and left. Ryan knew this location was a bit of bust, but Shane pointing it out so blatantly was kind of cutting. 

Once they got some breakfast, though, he felt better. Shane played one of his weird songs by a weird band and danced around the hotel room, and Ryan recorded it for Instagram. Shane convinced him to dance too, though. For such a large man, he had surprisingly effective puppy-dog eyes, and he and Shane were spinning and dancing in the room, arms waving wildly. 

They collapsed on their respective beds in fits of giggles once they got exhausted by the dancing. “You know,” Ryan said breathlessly, “I used to have respectable Instagram posts.”

“But how much bigger is your following now?” Shane asked with a huffing laugh. 

“Shut up, Shane,” Ryan laughed. 

_ “Now I’m slipping through the cracks _

_ Of your cold embrace so please, _

_ Please. _

_ Could you find a way  _

_ To let me down slowly?” _

The next location was far more “whelming.” At least, to Ryan. 

While going up a dark flight of stairs, he heard a creaking on the stairs just in front of him. He jumped, shrieking a little bit. “Holy shit, dude did you hear that? What was that? Holy shit.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s an old building. It’s an old flight of stairs. It’s okay.” Ryan realized that Shane’s voice was right in his ear.

As the panic subsided, Ryan noticed a number of important things. First: that Shane was very close to him. Second: that Shane was so close to him that his arms were around him. Third: that he must have jumped backwards and been caught by Shane. Fourth: that Shane smelled really nice and his shirt was a very soft flannel that was warm against Ryan’s cheek. 

Ryan took a few deep breaths, willing his pulse to slow down. Shane’s arms around him were calming him, though, and he felt much better after a moment. He didn’t move away, though. And Shane held him close. And it was nice. He smelled the scent of Shane and felt his warm arms. 

Until Shane somehow, something about him just went  _ cold. _ Like a flipped switch. His warm arms and soft hold felt more tense. Ryan didn’t want to pull away, but he realized that this was Shane attempting to let him pull away first. Finally, Ryan let himself slip away from Shane and he continued up the stairs, not meeting Shane’s eyes. 

_ “Could you find a way to _

_ Let me down slowly? _

_ A little sympathy _

_ I hope you can show me. _

_ If you wanna go then _

_ I’d be so lonely. _

_ If you’re leaving baby, _

_ Let me down slowly.” _

After their filming trip, they were back in LA at the office. It was late on a Friday, and they were practically the only two left trying to finish up an edit before their deadline. When they finally got it to where they were both happy, Ryan stood and stretched. “Hey, wanna come to my place and have a drink?”

Shane didn’t answer for a moment. “I should probably head back to my place.”

Something in Ryan snapped. “Shane, we need to talk.”

He looked nervous, taken aback. “Something up?”

“Yeah, something’s up. You’ve been pushing me away for weeks. I just… We can’t go from being best friends to you just trying to shut me out, okay?”

“Ryan, I-”

Ryan held a hand up. “Give me a minute. Let me talk. If the fact that I’ve got feelings for you is making you uncomfortable, I need you to just say so, and not just-”

_ “Wait.  _ Did you just say ‘feelings’?” 

“Yeah, I thought you knew?” Ryan’s heart was racing even faster. If Shane didn’t know that, then now he did. And that was on top of whatever was making him put the distance there in the first place. “I thought that was why you were pushing me away?”

“I’m not - I though -” Shane stood, rubbing his face. “I need a minute, okay? Don’t… Please stay here. I just need to think.” He left the office and Ryan slumped in his office chair.

“I’ve fucked up.”

_ “Cold skin, drag my feet _

_ On the tile, as I’m walking _

_ Down the corridor.” _

Shane was dissociating so badly while walking down the hallway that his feet dragged half of the time. The adrenaline was running through his veins so fast that his hands felt frozen. He finally found an open door and stumbled into the empty conference room, collapsing into an office chair. 

Ryan liked him back. Ryan. This funny, talented, creative, handsome man that he’d been pining after for so long. Liked him. He couldn’t believe it. He was pinching himself, certain this was a dream. Certain this was some clickbait-y video he had been signed up for. Certain he misunderstood something. He knew he shouldn’t have run away like that, but he couldn’t have a single coherent thought when Ryan was looking at him like that. 

Finally he started to think he has gotten a grip on what to say to Ryan when -  _ speak of the devil. _

_ “And I know we haven’t  _

_ Talked in awhile, _

_ So I’m looking for an _

_ Open door.” _

Ryan, having waited as long as he could stand, followed Shane down the hall. He found the door Shane had opened and entered the conference room.

“Shane?”

He looked up from where he was hunched over in a chair, his hands in his hair and spiking it up. “Ryan, sorry, how long…?”

“Almost fifteen minutes. I just… You scared me walking out like that after I confessed like that, y’know?”

Shane nodded. “Sorry… I didn’t realize it had been so long. I’m sorry. I just needed to think. This is… this isn’t a trick, is it?”

Ryan frowned, almost hurt. “No, why would I lie about something like this?”

“Because look at you! It’s… how… why would you like me too?”

Ryan felt himself freeze. “You like me too?”

“Of course I do -”

Ryan stepped up to him and took his hand. “Shane… holy shit can I…” 

Shane pulled him down into a soft, chaste kiss. “I’ve wanted that for some time.”

“Yeah. Yeah, me too. Why were you pushing me away?”

_ “And I can’t stop myself from falling _

_ Down.” _

“Because I was trying to stop myself from loving you. Because I didn’t want to scare you off. I didn’t want to ruin what we had.”

Ryan shook his head, laughing to himself. “Only you would try and ruin a friendship because you didn’t want to ruin it over your feelings.” He put a hand on Shane’s cheek. It was new to him, looking down on his friend. Shane looked so small, hunched and looking up at him. 

“I didn’t know you liked me back,” he tried to protest. “How could I?”

“I thought it was obvious. How was I supposed to know?”

“Because I created a complete running gag for years just to get a rise out of you?”

“That doesn’t mean you love me! It just means you’re an ass!”

“Stop insulting me and let me kiss you,” Shane said with a fond smile. 

Ryan obliged.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you liked this, check out the other works in this series. As always, kudos and comments feed my validation-hungry soul. 
> 
> If you have any song recommendations, let me know in the comments or on tumblr at in-between-sleep-and-awake


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